Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships | 
 enlarge | Author: John Gray
Publisher: Thorsons
Category: Book
List Price: £9.99
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Avg. Customer Rating:  37 reviews
Sales Rank: 12182
Media: Paperback
Pages: 292
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.4 x 5.1 x 1
ISBN: 072252840X
EAN: 9780722528402
ASIN: 072252840X
Publication Date: 1993
Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days
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Condition: USED BOOK, NORMAL SHELF / READING WEAR TO COVER AND PAGE EDGES, SUPER FAST DELIVERY, DISPATCHED WITHIN 24 HOURS FROM UK!!!
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Amazon.co.uk Review
A classic and unique self-help book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus tackles the perennial problems faced by couples everywhere. Gray tells an allegorical story of the Venusians and the Martians who move to Earth, having enjoyed wonderful and fulfilling relationships with one another for many years. However, as soon as they arrive on this planet, amnesia sets in! They can no longer remember that they are from different planets and all sorts of communication and emotional problems set in. Written in an unpretentious and jargon- free style, Gray's tactic of using "Venusian" and "Martian" to refer to the two genders (and he does comment that these roles are not necessarily based on sexual biology) avoids the dead-end path followed by so many people, of using sweeping statements such as: "men always…" or "women just don't understand…". Instead, he says: "Remember, Venusians are from a different planet, therefore…" or, "Martians need…" This in itself is worthwhile tactic, removing blame-culture and shifting communication onto a new level where it is OK not to be on the same wavelength all the time and not to automatically understand all your partner's needs. His new naming strategy even manages to be amusing, in a way that many books in this area can fail to be, although the writing tends towards over-simplicity at times. He discusses every aspect of relationships--but most importantly he does this in practical ways. For example, he lists common statements that a person in a relationship say to their partner, what that person intends them to mean and what the person to whom it is directed actually hears, or thinks they mean. Gray goes on to suggest ways to say what you intended that are more appropriate for the Venusian or Martian audienc--he even compiles lists of translations of common male/female exchanges. Each chapter takes situations from either the Venusian or Martian side, making the book easy to dip into, as well as enjoyable to read cover to cover. The case for each interplanetary race is put simply and in a very down-to-earth manner, and the book avoids trying to be too clever for its own good. Some tips from the book: Venusians take note--Martians also have monthly cycles of emotions, and need to retreat into their "cave" every now and then, so Venusians needn't feel shut out when their favourite Martian retreats without a word. The Martians could help by telling the Venusians that while they are retreating right now, they will soon be back out and they will then discuss any concerns the Venusians have. Martians should be reassured that, although Venusians climb down into their well every now and then, it is not that the Martians have hurt them--they too are taking time out. Their favourite Venusian will be back soon, ready to re-embrace their closeness. The personality of the author shines through, the tone of the book being helpful, friendly and non-judgmental, kind and well-meaning, although the self-help strategy of repeating and summarising points results in the book seeming somewhat directionless. It is nevertheless an essential title for the bookshelf of every self-respecting self-help addict, and is a good place to start for the curious. It does also have some real gems of wisdom and new strategies--all in all, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a star guide to understanding the constellations of coupledom. --Alison Jardine
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| Customer Reviews: Read 32 more reviews...
 Is this author saying that same sex partnerships are the answer? August 27, 2008
I read this book very recently and was purturbed by it as it does seem to suggest that the only really happy realtionships we can experience in this life might be same sex partnerships - I doubt this was the author's intention but that's how it struck me. Anyone else feel the same? I'm straight by the way.
 Best self-help book EVER!! August 26, 2008
Everytime I read this I think it's ME they're talking about and it's my man they're referring to! Absolutely fantastic book, it not only helped me understand myself but also my partner. I'm yet to pursuade him to read it. But everytime I want to get angry for not talking about whatever is bothering him - I think about what was said in the book and I wait for him to come back to me, after his "pulling away" period. It turned my life around and my understanding of men! I advise all men and women to read.
 Some Insightful Thoughts, but much Stereotyping! August 24, 2008
A catchy title coupled with some insightful thoughts about the differences between men and women has made this book a multi-million seller. Men from Mars Women are from Venus explores the differences between the needs and communication styles of men and women. The book is written primarily for both men and women over twenty five.
John Gray explains that men and women are so unlike each other that they might as well be from different worlds. For several years before this book was written many felt it was improper to discuss gender differences. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and other books like it fed this oppressed need. The high volume of sales reflects the desire that men and women want to learn more about each other.
John Gray makes some significant contact with his readers on some key issues. For example, Gray argues that men mistakenly offer solutions to problems (problem solvers) and inadvertently invalidate feelings. Women tend to offer unsolicited advice and direction.
Another important concept that Gray explores is that men aren't always willing to discuss what is bothering them (John Gray calls it going to their cave). Women want to address relationship issues immediately. Gray explains that understanding male and female differences helps a couple to accept each other and work together for a better relationship.
Although very good in some important places, it is lacking in others. The shortcomings of this book need addressing. First, Gray generalizes male and female characteristics without adequately addressing individualism. His generalizations oversimplify how men and women act and react.
Next, Gray doesn't adequately address the similarities between men and women. In some cases he goes out of his way to show how men and women are different when it can be easily argued that they are alike. For example, John Gray writes that the primary love needs of women are: caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. He says that the primary love needs of men are trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. Gray ignores that men need caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance and women need trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement.
Some people take Gray's thesis as gospel without questioning its validity. For example, a book published in 1995 book entitled: He's OK She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women by Jeannette Lofas, and Joan MacMillan quotes the love needs of men and women noted in John Gray's book without further question or comments. The point Lofas and MacMillan are trying to make is to accept the differences between men and women. This is well taken, but using a quote from John Gray's book without exploring whether these needs are really gender specific makes this part of He's OK, She's OK lacking. What's unsettling, is that if two writers who have researched male female characteristics take John Gray's book without question, won't many readers?
This book's biggest contribution is helping many people to become aware of the differences in needs and communication techniques of themselves and others. Although there are some drawbacks, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has some useful information for individuals who want to improve their communication and relationships with the opposite sex.
Overall, some interesting points...but caution is advised!
The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide To: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking
 OH DEAR.... April 15, 2008
13 out of 16 found this review helpful
I can`t believe all the rave reviews. What a load of old tosh. If there is anything in this book that you don`t already know - you deserve to be on your own...
A wonderful guide for anyone in a relationship April 1, 2008
Reading this book helped me more than I could have imagined. The author describes male and female attributes in a realistic way and I could see myself and my other half reflected in his words. I didn't even realise that I had a communication problem; I was given this book and read it out of curiosity. Each section of the book reveals strikingly simple yet hugely important points which can really help the way you interact and communicate with others, even if you're not in a relationship. There are key ideas which require a little bit of work to break your bad habits and implement the new way of speaking. I see that Amazon do not stock this book any more, but I strongly recommend getting hold of a copy from the marketplace as this book has proved to be invaluable to me. Take it step by step and if you are having serious relationship issues try and get your partner to read along with you and share the experience. It's a real eye-opener.
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