Narrow Dog to Carcassonne | 
 enlarge | Author: Terry Darlington
Publisher: Delta
Category: Book
List Price: £6.62
Buy Used: £3.73
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Avg. Customer Rating:  84 reviews
Sales Rank: 401080
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 336
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.2 x 0.6
ISBN: 038534208X
Dewey Decimal Number: 797.10944
EAN: 9780385342087
ASIN: 038534208X
Publication Date: March 25, 2008
Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days
Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: Brand New, Perfect Condition, Please allow 4-14 business days for delivery. 100% Money Back Guarantee, Over 1,000,000 customers served.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 79 more reviews...
 A jaunt through the human heart July 23, 2008
This is a good read for anyone who enjoys a wry (dare I say northern?) sense of humour who wants a good summer read and to enjoy a sense of longing for a journey from their deckchair. The writer has a great style - he undermines himself and everything he sees and everyone he meets - a bit like what it is like being brought up in Lancashire! It's the simple and unverbose descriptions that make this a gentle, sunny and funny read. He's got the British vernacular really well ('Frenchmen fancy English ladies of a certain age, like Jane Birkin or Charlotte Rampling, and when they think they have spotted one they chuck their dredgers around like anything'). The descriptions of Jim the dog are evocative and delightful - you can feel his whiskers tickle your face as he licks it. His long-suffering partner - he expresses her various anxieties about crossing the Channel or navigating another difficult lock with that familiar worried rant and lashing-out that I recognise so well in myself. With no sign of guests for their party she paces about the place: 'We'll be disgraced...There's no one coming and it's half past six. And if they come they'll be awful and they won't like us. Another of your lunatic schemes has gone wrong!'. So, while the writing seems simple, it does indicate other deeper things, of the heart of human behaviour under pressure - whether it's 'guest anxiety' or real terror on the waves. And as for the French, he says it all: 'In England shops are normally open, and in France they are normally shut...The restaurant sells wine by the gallon, but that bit is shut' - come on, we've all been there.
funny travel book July 23, 2008
I absolutely loved this book.
I was slightly worried it wouldn't be funny and a bit boring ( more for older people ) when I found out the subject matter.
How wrong I was. The first paragraph made me laugh!
I can't recommend this book enough to people who love funny travel writing books. Terry writes in such a way you laugh out loud every page and the descriptions Monica & Jim's adventures are brilliant.
I can't wait to read the sequel.
 Opinions vary widely .... June 3, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
It's unusual on Amazon to find a book with so many reviews, and such extreme diversity of opinion; from loved it, to hated it.
I enjoy the travel genre, have read many books of travels and relocations through and to France, Italy, Spain, Majorca, etc. I thought this would suit my taste, but I struggled.
As others have mentioned, there's undoubtedly a good tale to be told; the problem lies within the telling of it i.e. the writing style. And, as can be seen from all the foregoing reviews, you're either gonna love it or hate it.
I read to page 89 before incredulity made me stop. There are 425 pages in all. I flicked forward to pages that placed them in deepest France, where surely things would get better ..... Ultimately, I decided there were better books still left on the shelves and my time would be more enjoyably passed reading some of those.
This is just my opinion, obviously.
What can we do to help others decide whether this book might be for them, when faced with such diverse reviews? Well, there are 81 reviews before me, here follows a transcript of page 81, it's a fair reflection of the way the book is written:
The gentleman across the table looked as if the winter sea had just reached his Y-fronts. That really wasn't very good at all, said the instructor, a captain with a beard - he would have sunk while the coastguards were trying to decide what you were on about. It would have been kinder to ram him and keep going. Fortunately you were on the wrong channel and you forgot to press the transmit button.
We've got this dog, said Monica later. He's a very thin dog. Will he lose his core temperature and die? I don't understand, said the captain, we've all got to go some time. I mean, said Monica, the dog is on the boat. When we transmit Mayday Mayday and nature of danger, and number of crew, do we include the dog? When they send a helicopter do they need to know about the dog? We are very fond of our dog. He's only a small dog, perhaps they would winch him up as an extra. If it's the British coastguard, said the captain, tell them about the dog. If it's the French, find a moment to say goodbye.
In real life, said the captain, if I come up the estuary and call the coastguard it's "Joe you drunk get that tug out of my road was that your wife under a Dutch whelk fisherman on Tuesday?" If you say everything by the book they will know you are not real sailors, and finish their breakfast, and all is lost. Do you mean that what you are teaching us is no good? I asked. I'll explain that one over coffee, said the captain. We were given our examination papers. Does he want a pencil? the captain asked Monica.
[I've transcribed this as accurately as Amazon allow, the quote I have placed in speech marks is actually only italicised in the book].
It's a random, but fair representation of the style. One man's jottings. Fairly disjointed. Rambling storytelling, for 425 pages. Plainly, you'll either love it or you'll hate it.
Fast-paced and opinionated - but always huge fun May 27, 2008
This is real 'stream of consciousness' stuff, written by a true enthusiast telling about life as it is. As a fellow dog owner and boating fan, I found myself mentally selling up and packing my bags halfway through chapter 1 so that I could share in their huge adventure.
Good luck Terry, Mon and Jim - I can't wait for Indian River to arrive.
Rotting hull April 28, 2008
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
I am glad I came across this book in a library and didn't have to pay for it. The author is xenophobic, narrow-minded and generally the sort of person whom the customs-men at Calais should have turned back upon his arrival. He can write, it is true. But maybe if he'd considered that forty years previously before working for the European Commission we might have been more interested. As it is, swanning about in his boat enjoying his retirement and taking the piss out of everyone and everything except his bloody dog and his wife doesn't make for a good read... I'm fortunate that no canals his narrowboat can navigate reach to where I live. Because like that I don't have to listen to self-edification stories like his. If he had just written about his adventurous channel crossing in a canal narrowboat, that would have been fine, notwithstanding the fact that he didn't know how to fettle his engine if necessity called. But then having chosen to undertake this voyage, then belittling everything and everyone he and his spouse (plus dog) met on their way makes me wonder what they wanted to do it for to start with. If the idea was to prove something to either themselves or someone else, they've failed dismally.
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